What in all of the airborne albino fucks is going on here? I mean, really

 
America's most successful La Toya Yvonne Jackson impersonator is showing no signs of slowing down despite my string of urgent faxes to Jesus. In what I first thought was a set of photos from some Derek Blanks alter ego shoot channeling the eccentric Jackson sister, the poster child for Extreme Makeover: Collapsed Nostril Edition has hijacked some delusional fan club member's camera to bless you with some new glamour shots. For shame. I didn't dial up Homeland Security to report an alien sighting, so this is praise-worthy.

Can years of active knobslobbing prevent one's mouth from closing?

I have been pretty vocal about my feelings for Kimmie Blanco, so my disdain for all things Queen Bumble Bee Tuna should come as no surprise. These photos are particularly timely for me, as I happened across my response to her warning to Nicholas Minaj, and burst into a fit of almost uncontrollable laughter. If Kat de Luna, Snooki, La Toya Jackson, and an amateur aging Beyoncé-loving dragon queen from some Tennessee punk club (whose repertoire consists entirely of music from Carmen: A Hip Hopera) were somehow combined to form one formerly talented, but currently obnoxious dick-sucking vampire rapper, 2011 Lil Kim would be the result.


If appearances are to be believed, her unverifiably record-breaking Paypal album sales have afforded her an endless supply of Self-Hate Sapphire Blue contact lenses and racks of closeout garments from abandoned Montgomery Ward warehouses. Delusion truly is a disease, kids. It's no laughing matter. Or something.



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