seen today outside the Pantages Theater in Hollywood, where Daquan, Roman and I intended to see final show of The Color Purple:
How badly does he deserve a throatchop?
Let us count the ways:
1. wide-legged jeans.
2. microbraids.
3. sides shaved off.
4. a "tail", luscious volume provided by the manifested self-hate of 1000 LaToya Jackson fans.
Sadly, this gent was not much worse than the dozens of other Negroes donning their most daring, 2nd-Pew-Disapproved Sunday
I spied animal prints, neon green dashikis, top hats, stretched lace, FLATS outside of church and.....CORK WEDGES .
*weeps*
Imagine strutting your wide hips and unconvincing newly-purchased wig to see Celie sang, when you suddenly feel a breeze. Yes. Deaconess Perkin's bright red skirt ran away from her massive rump and hit the ground...IN THE PARKING LOT.
SHAWAMM.
Her good girlfriend didn't stop and help immediately. She damn near fell on the ground laughing. We silently gasped and pretended not to notice. After she recovered with no help from her now-crying friend, we were asked:
"DID YALL SEE THAT?!?!?"
Some friend she turned out to be. If you can't trust your sistergirl to shield your stretch marks and period panties from the world, who CAN you trust??
We partook in overpriced brunch then ventured off to see Shutter Island.
As always, Leonardo DiCaprio played his role well, but as my father suggested, the plot was too ambitious.
"They tried to do way too much," were his exact words.
We all know cliffhangers are great methods of setting up for a sequel. This film needs a sequel like Tyler Perry needs cunnilingus lessons. Didn't love it. Didn't hate it. Just wouldn't sell a friend on seeing it. I am also thankful we saw it for $6.50.
In other news, still awaiting the final verdict on my beloved dead hard drive, Brenda. A few final tricks will be done tomorrow. If it turns out for the worst, I am catching a first class flight to the Little Debbie Factory in the sky. Believe that.
Aside from that, the weekend was enjoyable. Learned to bartend at work last night and came across some free books to trade in at the bookstore tomorrow. Hip Hop Hooray.
What did YOU do with your life today?
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3 comments/Ashanti Terminator 5000 credits for this post
This weekend, I went shopping w/my family, which basically meant I got belly-aching laughs watching my parents act old together & Ike n' Tina begged all my money off of me for "cool stuff" that they "needed".
I got a new shower curtain.
This film needs a sequel like Tyler Perry needs cunnilingus lessons.
You're going to hell for that! lmao
I cant remember what the hell I did last weekend. #Earlyonsetalzheimersdisease
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