hello children. gather 'round. come real close. grab a pillow and lets form a circle on the floor.
comfy?
it's time for Tuesday's Public Service Announcement. this is something that you may not encounter regularly, but I've seen it enough to feel compelled to reach out and snatch off a few top lips. as part of my upcoming campaign to STAMP OUT STUPIDITY, i will share a piece of info that may change your life.
ready?
alright.
there is not now, nor has there ever been a phrase, even considering poorly translated Mexcican idioms, that translates to
WHOA IS ME.
now, with the help of my good friend Google, I see that a band of busted condoms known as "Dredg" has a song out called "Whoa is Me" as does a band called "Down with Webster" but that does NOT give commoners the right to be running round, complaining about their failtastic lives, soliciting pity with such brazen grammatical recklessness.
Twitter Infractions:
mariamartian OH WHOA IS ME! Anyone got tips on A. how to fake Shakespeare & B. HOW TO GET YOUR MOM TO CALM DOWN. Suggestions are appreciated.
STOP! Do not pass GO. Do not wake up tomorrow. Do not make eye contact with me!
can anyone guess what the CORRECT, Jesus-approved saying is??
Say it with me:
WOE IS ME.
YES. that's it. in their attempts to garner sympathy, they're actually spreading and perpetuating STUPIDSPEAK, which is more toxic than H4N4 and unclean vagina (or so i hear), combined. the irony if their misstep is that yes, you ARE to be pitied: you aren't living right and clearly don't deserve to procreate/live.
*cue Heal The World*
this must be stopped. kids and Bronx residents are being raised on Soulja Boy "music" and Failure flavored Cola. next month the staff of Coloredboy.net (me/myself/i) will be launching a campaign to expose, humiliate, gang rape, and STAMP OUT STUPIDITY. i hope you will find this cause worthy of your time and attention.
i want to empower YOU to do your part in this crusade. if you observe stupidity in motion, snap a pic and email it to me: chrisalexander@coloredboy.net. if that's not an option, firmly put your hand to their chest and say (with compassion), "HEY BUDDY, YOU'RE NOT LIVING RIGHT." and walk away. problem solved.
drop a donation in the pickle jar on your way out.
~chris.alexander
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5 comments/Ashanti Terminator 5000 credits for this post
Oh, I GOTCHU!!
This failastic way of life permeating the fabric of decent society must be stopped. With you and I working together, common sense, compassion & dictionary.com will prevail.
I'm not gonna talk about why I was sitting here thinking what's wrong with the phrase when you were talking about spelling the word woe correctly. Not gonna talk about it. LOL
I am excited by the eagerness to smack down the unworthy and unintelligent. We will make a chaaaaaaaaange.
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No gang raping to stamp out stupidity, without wearing a condom!!
That is all