While en route to crown heights (the REAL origin of all Jamaicans, NOT Jamaica, shit) on the 4 train, a homeless enters the car and solicits change from the passengers, without much luck. While walking through the car, his bag brushed against a Jamaican man's arm, causing him to spill his coffee. (Yes. Coffee @ 12:30am)

He shouts some Jamaican obsenity. Something about curried goat, perhaps. Idk.

By now, homeless man is toward the end of the car but makes his way back.

"Whatchu say bitch?"

Jamaican man reminds homeless man that his big ass bag made him spill his coffee.

Homeless man: "You think you better than me because I'm homeless?"

Jamaican man: "Whatever. When you collect 50 cents, pay me for this coffee."

Homeless man then launches into a rant about how he'll smack the hell out of Jamaican man. Jamaican man is apparently "a bitch that just so happens to have a place to sleep." Homeless man promises that he'll come smack fire out of Jamaican man's mouth.

"I'm not even gonna punch you. I'm gonna slap you cuz you's such a bitch."

At this point, iPods are removed, I've stopped reading, old ladies are craning their necks to observe. A hoodgirl laughs aloud.

Homeless man: "Yea, bitch. You're goin home to let your husband there fuck you, cuz you're a faggot. With a place to sleep. That's it."

Jamaican man holds the pole and shakes his head, as if to say "you're not even worth it." He stands there as homeless man with "nothing to fuckin lose" calls him "faggie boy," and threatens to "abuse him" in front of his husband, the other Jamaican man with him, who was staring at the floor at this point.

"That's right bitch. You try to disrespect me in front of people because I'm homeless, but I'll manhandle you in front of your husband, bitch. And you gon' like it, bitch!"

Homeless man is laughing now.

No response.

We're all laughing now.

Homeless man eventually leaves.

"Later, bitch."

A woman laughs and gives him, $5.

And now that homeless man is probably 5 cars back, Jamaican man is running off at the mouth.

But of course.

I, however, am slightly disappointed that Jamaican man didn't shank homeless man with that sharpened jerk chicken bone I know he had in his multicolored linen pant pocket.

Oh well. There's always next time.